’’Vores grav’’
'’Det føles som livet er så tæt på
Men alligevel, kvæles jeg,
Jeg ser ingen farver, men kun den grå
Du efterlod ved siden af mig...
Hvor er du... Hvor er du..? HVOR.ER.DU??
Jeg’ i panik, i åndenød,
Hård og kold: der er du nu
Jeg mindes du var så varm og blød...
Hvor gør det ondt at miste dig..!
Jeg kan næsten ikke være i det,
Jeg ville så gerne samme vej
Leve uden dig, hvordan lære det?
Alle de spørgsmål og ingen svar
Du snakker jo ikke mere...
Hvor underligt at det vi var:
Det var ik’ kun mig, vi var flere!
Jeres hjerter banker dybt i mit
Det er uden tvivl den værste længsel,
Jeg sanser jeres duft så blidt
Som i vores start sammen, vores fængsel...
Hvorfor er sorgen min venlige fjende?
Den lurer bag hvert et hjørne,
Men i den er der minder at hente
Om både favn og tjørne...’’
‘’Dream-catcher’’
‘’The greatest joy I ever had
The oldest one that haunts my heart,
The one that also makes me mad
Is the one I’ve felt from the very start.
A day in April I recall
Flowers blooming around us,
When I survived the greatest fall
And you both turned to rust.
We were 3 feathers laced together
But in the web you both got caught,
The taste through my veins does not get better
And every memory is too short…
The emptiness that follows me
Has kept me both dead and alive,
This nightmare that I’m setting free
To reach the light inside.
I know you’re scared that I’ll forget
But winter’s cold bitterness doesn’t lie,
I also see you in every sunset
Which fades softly and quietly, as you both laid lifeless by my side…’’
‘’Roses in April’’
‘’The snow is gently falling down
As I’m taking off my broken crown,
It rusted many years ago
When you both just stopped to grow…
When winter’s depths are too long
I need to write another song,
A song that purifies my heart
From the times we were apart…
I’m standing barefoot on the ground
Finding roots to hear your sound,
The breeze tells me your ghost is near
Just wish it was you saying ‘I’m here’.
I guess I’m so scared of the cold
Because our future was put on hold,
Although the heat is just eating me up
Please, someone, just make it stop.
The roses in April aren’t always red
But you have no idea how much I bled,
My soul has now ran out of color
And life just became a lot duller…
The forces of nature are pulling me
I think only they, can set me free,
I’ll learn to run with what is wild
To soothe my saddened inner child…’’
‘’Guilt’’
‘’Last night as I laid on my bed
The guilt just started rising,
I felt my brain cradle in my head
And I couldn’t stop fighting…
You tense me up on the right side of my neck
It feels like I am stuck,
She’s such a small and innocent flake
But she could eat me up…
I miss you so, it stings and burns
My darling, Erica,
I beg you, please, just let me turn
Just let me be, ‘Annika’…
Sometimes I don’t know what to do
With all the love I lose
Can’t shake the memory of you two
And keep you close: A must..!
I somehow need to let you go
Through music, words and dance,
But oh, it hurts! I love you so!
And I don’t stand a chance…
My love, my Kasper, brother of blood
My heart screams out your name,
My tears for you, create a flood
So please don’t give me blame…
The weather triggers me I know
Just like your cold wet touch,
I only wanted you to grow
But seems you both got flushed…
I do not like to feel the cold
Reminds me of back then,
The weather’s sudden change of clothes
And in the mess we blend…’’
‘’To my strong brother’’
‘’I see your strength, I see your light
I see your army colors shining bright,
You are my guide when I need you to
You make me invincible and bulletproof.
Oh brother, you’re my shelter when I need
You’re my safe place when I bleed,
You’re the one who holds my hand
You’re the one who helps me stand…
The red of the sunrise is your smile
The red of the sunset is your cry,
You sacrificed your life for me
You took the fall so that I could BE…’’
’’Autumn loss’’
‘’As the weather starts changing and fall’s colors gently start to show, I feel colors in my heart changing too… The subtle shift from bright energized green to yellow, orangy-red dull brown. The shift from bright energized pumping bloody red to a Bordeaux, browny slow weak pulse. I know it’s not my pulse – it’s not my heart either. It’s yours. But you are so close to me; so very close, that it could be mistaken for mine. How is it that I seek you and you me? How is it that your death haunts my heart after so many years apart..? Well, I know… You were part of me… you were half of me. As I sense the temperature changing, the coldness of autumn sneaking in, the temperature also changes in my soul. Icier paths go through my veins and it is as though you need my blood more than me… But there is nothing I can do; there was nothing I could do. The yearning for you grows so deep that I mistake others for you… I miss you so badly it feels like someone is standing on my chest, I cannot breathe. I also know that all this pain that seems, at first, incurable, actually comes from a place of great, great love. The greatest love that could ever be. I now know that this love is expressed through everything that I do. The music I compose, the songs I sing, the poems I write, the dances I dance… They’re all in the vastest and truest memory of what once was. Although I didn’t know you for long, although you were taken away from me so soon, it feels as though you know every cell of my body and that no one else has ever known nor loved me in the way you do; in the way that you did. You have been and are still of paramount importance to me. I so adore you from each and every corner of me. I so love you from my very essence. My love, my sweet, my darling… Oh, but, what do I do with all this love? I can catalyse it in my art but may I offer some to others? That intense and powerful love that was destined to you… Guide me, my dear, what shall I make of it? I cannot contain it, I cannot keep it locked inside, nor won’t I..! But will you loathe me if I share it? Will you forgive me, my dearest? For I simply CANNOT bear living another minute like this… Although you are both gone, I also feel that you reside in everything around me. Especially in nature. When I walk barefeet, I sense you in the soil, when the wind blows in the trees, I sense you caressing my face, when I watch the sunset, I feel you embracing my whole spirit… Oh, my love, my sweet… How I miss you so…’’
